The Pony Problem

So, a few days ago I found a list of books online. I think it was a list that was geared toward my generation of readers because it was all about what books to read now depending on what you liked as a kid.

Here's the link, just in case you're looking to find the equivalent of an adult Harry Potter (although I think that's impossible; nothing will ever be quite as magical as HP):

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/books-to-read-based-on-your-childhood-favorites

I came across the Ramona Quimby book, and although I never actually read it, the cover on the list seemed quirky and cute. Naturally, I went to the BYU library's website to see if its adult counterpart, I was told there'd be cake by Sloane Crosley was available to check out. From reading a couple of its reviews I decided it'd be my next book to tackle.

Now, you gotta understand that this is a big deal because I haven't read anything since Malcolm Gladwell's David and Goliath came out, and I only read that because come on, it's Malcolm Gladwell and he's brilliant. If you're reading this and you don't know who Malcolm Gladwell is, then please, go to iBooks or your Kindle or something... and buy Outliers. Though I'm sure if you don't know who Malcolm Gladwell is then you've been hiding under a rock because he's even been mentioned on New Girl. It's all about that 10,000 hr. rule.

Well today, I finally checked out I was told there'd be cake, and the first chapter alone made me take immediate action. The title for this first chapter was The Pony Problem. In it, Sloane tells about how, like any other New Yorker, she's imagined what her loved ones would think if they had to clean out her apartment in case of her sudden death. (I thought this was weird, but I guess after 9/11 it makes sense.)

She says that the one thing she'd be most embarrassed by would be her toy pony collection that she keeps under her kitchen drawer. She admits she doesn't even like ponies, but whenever a sig. oth. told her he had good news, she'd ask if he'd gotten her a pony. Well, over the years, the sig. oths. reluctantly got her ponies to stop her from asking if the good things they got for her were ponies.

She realizes that she's never been able to throw out the many ponies because they all remind her of a piece or part of her life that all these past boyfriends took part in. After thinking it through, she decides to put all the ponies in a bag and leave the bag on the floor of Brooklyn-bound subway. I'm posting her last paragraph because I can't say it more perfectly than she does:

"In any case, the ponies are gone. They are on their way to a borough where eventually they will hit the end of the line and cycle back into the heart of the city. Unless the bomb squad finds them first. They are finally out of my sight and not even an 8.5 on the Nostalgia Richter Scale can summon them back. I created them and now I have uncreated them and there is nothing I can do about it. Except maybe continue to look both ways before crossing the street and avoid areas with a high saturation of random violence. I breathe a sigh of resolute relief. From now on I will make a conscious effort to remember--should I find myself face-to-face or pipe-to-skull with the end of my life--that the real proof that I have tried to love and that people have tried to love me back was never going to fit in a kitchen drawer."

Well I realized that over the years, I have kept my own version of ponies. My version of ponies is more than just one collection of objects. I hold on to things. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a hoarder haha. But I hold on to little things that people have given me over the years to remind myself that people have loved me.

When I realized the gist of what Sloane was saying, I immediately got my phone out. I have never deleted a text. I had texts in my phone from way back in 2010. So I started to delete. Texts from past roommates, friends and ex-boyfriends all got deleted into oblivion. My self-esteem should not rely on the past or on the people that have made up my past. The texts can't reassure me that I am loved or popular or whatever because they came to me in the past. My self-esteem should not come from past experiences.

 I can build my self-esteem from the present. I know that I am a daughter of God. I know that I have a family that loves me. I know that as long as I walk in the paths of righteousness I will be guided.
Of course, those people that have texted me made up a part of my life. I will be forever grateful for them, because no matter if I am still friends with those people or not, and no matter how small of a period they were in my life for, they have all taught me something and shared something with me. It doesn't matter if the text was information on a homework assignment or a reminder to go to FHE or even the promise that they missed or loved me; all those past texts are not my present. By letting go of old things, we can make room for new hopes and experiences. Our pasts can haunt us, but we must learn to be forgiving of ourselves.

As my dad said in his last note to me,

"The future awaits you with arms wide open." (And I will hold on to this note!)

In Loving Memory

Last week was one of the saddest times. 

Dad and I traveled to Guatemala for a vacation. We had planned this vacation a long time ago, but we knew that it might be a sad visit. Two weeks before, my mom left to Guatemala to go take care of my Grandma, who wasn't doing so well. We went to visit her as soon as we landed. 

Tears streamed down my face as I saw the sad conditions of hospitals in Guatemala. I could see the suffering in her face as my mom pleaded with the doctors to see her. I will never forget the hour that I spent in that hospital. 

She passed away not two days after that. Despite these sad last days, Grandma lived an exceptional life. She never could boast of riches and of fancy things, but her life is an example to me of a woman who was optimistic, creative, brave, strong-willed, humble, and a true follower of Christ. 

I remember her crying when speaking of one time when I feel asleep at her feet when she was cooking. 

I remember her faithfully waiting for the bus to drop me off from school when I was two; she would walk home with me and sit with me as I drank my bottle. 

I remember her patiently teaching me how to hold a crochet needle, undoing my awful stitches, telling me to start again. 

I remember her feeding me toast with butter and jelly, and letting my sister and I watch TV while mom and dad came home from work. 

I remember cutting the flowers from her yard when we would play kitchen with the cousins and her stern admonitions to leave the flowers be. 

This one time, my sister, cousin, and I wrinkled up a Kleenex and tied it to a string. Every time she would bend over to get it, we would pull the string. When she finally realized what was happening, she yelled out an insult, and then started laughing along with us. 

She was patient with me when I was a brat. She even defended me when my parents got mad. 

She taught me to love my country and about patriotism and civic duty. 

She taught me a love for history and art.

She taught me that my strong will, imagination, and intelligence are what make me myself. She taught me to speak my mind, and to not be afraid of what others think.

She taught me to be kind to others, to respect others' opinions and ideas, and to reach out to the spiritually and physically needy. 

No long eulogy would do her justice. 

I am grateful to her for her great example of a Proverbs 31 woman. I know I will see her again someday. 

María Rosario "Raquel" Medina Ortiz
26 March,1922- 21 August, 2013

How I spent my summer

Summer is almost over! Two weeks-ish and it's back to school and life. I guess it's time to recap how everything went. 

Week 2 of EFY was fantastic. I had the chance of going to my future campus (hopefully!) and spend a week there with some wonderful people. I was in a trio again with Nate and Lauren and we had a great company. It was my first time working with the youngins. It was slightly harder and I felt more like a mom than a counselor haha but it was great. Thursday was the day of our testimony meeting, and I have never felt the Spirit more strongly at a 14 yr-old meeting. Their testimonies were incredible! 

Forever Strong: Lexi, Rachel, Lauren, Kirsten, Kolson, Amanda, Makae, Carmen, Zoe, Regan, Tasha, Taylor, Colby, Cole, Alyssa, Nathan, Nathan, Olivia, Rebecca, Tyler, Brittney, Jodi, Savannah, Makenzie, Tasha, Whitney, ? , Regan, Rebecca, Cassie, Cameron, Sam, Konner, Caleb, Chandler, Carson, Porter, Lauren, and I.

I'm blanking out on one of the boys' names, and a couple of the girls' names mainly because this group had a lot of similar names! If I forgot your name, I'm sorry. It was a while ago, but I promise I remember your spirit :). 

I then had a week off to come home and meet my new nephew, Daniel Seth Johnson. He's perfectly precious because he's a lot like me. But I guess even if he wasn't like me, I'd still like him. He's a bit sassy. 

Isn't he the cutest!?! My sister and bro in-law are really happy! This tiny addition to our family has already brought so many blessings, and I'm so grateful for him. 

Week 3 of EFY I was blessed to work with the youngins again. My trio this time included Matt and Natalie and we had so much fun. We worked really well together and we had some pretty good laughs with our kids. They were full of energy and always ready for all the activities. We won the cheer-off with an incredible re-wording of Imagine Dragons' Radioactive. The chorus went something like this: 
"I have great faith, I feel it in my bones, enough to lift my spirit up, welcome to the new way, to the new way, welcome to the new way, to the new way. Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh, I'm forever happy, forever happy..." 

Needless to say, our company name was Forever Happy. 

Me, Matt, and Natalie

Shandee, Camden, Katie, Gabe, Olivia, Sarah, Jesse, Jamie, ?, Erin, Keaton, Daniel, ? ? Kaylee, Sara, Celia, ?, Madi, ?, Paige, Rebecca, Merril, Adrielle, Makayla, Drew, Spencer, and Caden

 Once again, blanking out on a few. A cool experience from this session:
 This was an ASL accommodated session. Out of 300 kids, 11 were deaf. Everyone did a good job of including the deaf kids and being friendly, but my favorite, most spiritual experience of the week was during the Variety Show. A deaf girl got up to play the piano and her interpreter told us that she just wanted to bring in the Spirit through her song. It was honestly the worst piano playing I have ever heard. But what happened after was incredible. As the girl was chomping away at the piano keys, a murmur started in the crowd. Eventually, the whisper got to me. The girl in front of me told me to stand up and cheer like crazy when the playing was over, and to pass it on. I passed it on and the song ended. Everyone in the audience stood up and cheered for this little deaf girl. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over as I saw her grin. 299 kids made that deaf girl feel special and loved that day. And I will never forget it. There are good people in the world! The Gospel of Christ reminds us that we are all brothers and sisters and that we are all in some way or another handicapped. We all have different things that we struggle with. But we have each other and we can help each other feel loved and appreciated. 

Week 4 was fantastic. The Unperishables was our name, and the Brown Team lead it. #brownteam #davidisbrown. With these people I learned a lot about myself, actually. I learned humility on that last friday, and I learned patience and forgiveness. The last dance with these guys was a blast. But even from day one, I have never seen a company bond so fast. The Spirit was with us from the get-go and I know that a lot of prayers were answered. 

Tiffany, Bethany, Ariel, Anna, Cassady, Jordan, Rachel, Emily, Bethany, Makenzie, Jaden, Nick, Ryker, Jordan, Joe, Mason, Sam, Jordan, and Blake. Me, and David. 

I think this picture conveys this company perfectly. We were all ridiculously weird, and we loved it. We danced, and twerked in secret (only as was appropriate haha) sometimes, we cheered, and cried together. I saw miracles happen in my life and the lives of all of them during this week. I was so blessed to have been able to teach them and to be taught by them even more. I do hope I get to see some of them soon again.

This week I also was given the chance to be cast in a music video! It was for the EFY program and it was awesome. We had to learn the song in like 20 minutes, and then we did some shots! It promotes the EFY program and what it stands for, as well as the power of music. 

Right Place- Beyond 5 <-- check it out right here!

I then had another week off in which I did nothing but sleep a lot. I did hang out with my dearest friends though, and we went to the Mona Rope swing! 

Check it out <--- It was a blast. 

I came into week five feeling awful and sick. My throat was a mess and I had a terrible headache. Little did I know that my life was about to change once more. 

I met my girls which were all wonderful and ready with so much energy for the week. We met the boys and they were all fantastic as well. 

Travis, Ethan, Dustin, Carly, Josh, Courtney, Rylee, Taylor, Gabby, random photo bomber, Ben, Steven, Will, Me, Dani, Mara, Courtney, Kylee, Danny, Elsa, Carlos, Rebecca, Mikelle, Madee, and Josh. 

I can say with confidence that all of us learned the most from Danny and Carlos this week. Their stories are incredible. I found out that Carlos (in the front with blue stripes) was born completely normal. When he was two years old, he was a victim of a drunk driving incident that paralyzed the right side of his body. He now struggles with his speech and his manner of walking. But he is one of the most humble, happy, and spirited people I have ever met. Danny "westside" as we liked to call him has his lower body paralyzed. He is from Oakland, CA, has 11 siblings, and is trying to find a second job to help his dad out. 

My co and I were blessed with an increased testimony at the end of every day, but I could tell that that last day both of us realized just how blessed we had been with our youth. We learned that the Lord has a special way of teaching his children, especially when they least expect it. And that we must look for these teaching and learning opportunities and embrace them with a good attitude. 

I know EFY was the place where I was supposed to be this summer. I'm so grateful for the lessons I learned, and I pray that as I try to live in a manner that is close to the Spirit and Christ's teachings, I will be blessed to know how to improve.  

I'm stoked for this next year! My classes are gonna be killers, but it'll be a good challenge. 

Senior year of college, here we go. 

#bythepower

As many of you know, last week was my first week of being an EFY counselor. And for those of you who didn't know, SURPRISE! 

Well, I cannot say anything but that amazing things happened last week. We were witnesses to true miracles. It all started with my amazing co-counselors, Landon and Jenny. 

These two people helped me so much! It was incredible how great we got along and how easy it was to split up all the duties and things we had to do. 

My girls were incredible as well; I learned so much from each and every one of them. I was humbled by their spirit and how much they truly love and live the gospel. I was able to have the spirit 24/7 with them; they knew exactly when to be outgoing and fun, and they knew when to calm down and let the Spirit whisper those promptings that they needed in their lives. Kaelan, Aubry, Rachel, Erin, Christie, Becky, Madison, Lizzie, Kim, and Hannah, if you ever read this, know that your testimonies truly strengthened mine. 

As for the rest of our company. I just have a couple words. FINNA AWESOME! I will never forget Paul's sick cat. Or Matt's surprising us all when he broke out into dropping it low at the dance. Or Brandon's epic I Will Go the Distance. And every other awesome moment, especially dancing with Kara and Jake, and talking and hugging everyone after testimony meeting. 

I love you all so much!!! And I meant what I said about having a reunion in the Millenium. I hope that I make it there, and I hope that I will see everyone there. 

So here are some pictures of our epic awesomeness...

Chandler's toe-touches during lunch

Christie and Aubry

Madison and Lizzie...and Chandler

Isaac, Matt, and Kara

Kim and Hannah

Capturing our awkwardness!

Rachel and Erin, and... Photobomb much!? :)

Rachel <3

Ray-Ban twins with Quinn!

Brandon and Sarah and some jokesters

Super blurry but I'm only missing 4 girls! Kaelan, Hannah, Kim, Aubry, Erin, Rachel, and I for our secret dinner

This girl helped me to be my most hipster self for Hipster Friday. Thanks Haley! 

hahahahaha Colby and Jake

Our most awkward family picture. WINNER.
Karlie, Colby, Paul, Amie, Fallon, Abish, Hannah, Isaac, Christie, Haley, Aubry, Erin, Matt, Rachel, Becky, Kara, Brandon, Kim, Sarah, Madison, Lizzie, Hannah, Chandler, Kaelan, Quinn, Shaun, and Jake. 

I am now starting my second week of EFY at UofU in Salt Lake. I know that EFY is an amazing program that not only helps the youth to recommit themselves to stand Firm in the Faith, but it also has helped me to come closer to Christ as I strive to live the principles of the Gospel. With that knowledge, I know that this week will be amazing as well! 

#summerfordays

This weekend I finished my summer playlist CD. 

Why make a CD when we have aux cords and music apps, you may ask?

Well, ladies and gents, I make CD's cuz I love the feeling of hearing that final DING when the CD is all burnt. 

Plus, what if you're wanting to save some iPod juice, and you're in the middle of the desert, cruising?

So, here's a look into what will be busting from my speakers this whole summer...

Or, until I get tired of it and make another mix

1. Get Lucky--Daft Punk. ft. Pharrel Williams

If you haven't heard their new stuff yet, DO ITTTTT..

2. Clarity--Zedd ft. Foxes

I found this gem about a month ago...and it has been on replay ever since.

3. Sky is the Limit--Rebelution

Totally makes me feel super chill, bro. 

4. I Love It--Icona Pop

It's such a summer jam. 

5. Se Le Ve--Andy Montanez y Daddy Yankee

It's all about that Salsatón!

6. A Little Party Never Killed Nobody--From Great Gatsby Soundtrack

Cuz one night's all we got!

7. Nada Valgo sin tu amor--Juanes

Porque nada valgo, porque nada tengo, si no tengo lo mejor...

8. #thatPOWER--will.i.am ft. Justin Biebs

This is a jam! for the gym, especially. 

9. Zumba Campaign-- Don Omar

Because no playlist is complete without Don Omar.

10. I need your love--Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding

Ellie's voice is like molten honeyyyy.

11. Girl From Ipanema--Stan Getz

Takes you from your busy life to the beaches of Brazil in about 2 seconds. 

12. Live it Up--Pitbull and Jennifer Lopez

Another one of those perfect gym jams.

13. Next to Me--Emeli Sandé

I love singing this one at the top of my lungs, driving into the sunset... But really.. 

14. Fergalicious--Fergie

"they always claim they know me, coming to me, call me Stacy" "hey, Stacy.."

15. Frio, Frio--Juan Luis Guerra ft. Romeo Santos

Juan Luis Guerra is a MASTER.

16. Ready 2 Go--Ale Mendoza ft. Dyland y Lenny

Sweet, slow merengue. Oh baby. 

17. Mal de Amores--Juan Magan

You can never go wrong with Juan Magan. 

Nothing makes summer better than a sweet soundtrack. 

#SUMMERFORDAYS. 

The Parentals

Today is the day I talk about my parents. 

My parents have been hard on me. 

They have pushed me to my limits. 

They have spanked me. 

They have yelled at me. 

They have great expectations of me, and sometimes it's a lot of pressure. 

But they gave me life.

They have given words of encouragement.

They cleaned up after me and put up with me when I was little.

They also currently put up with me when I behave like a brat and refuse to listen.

They work hard for me to have a bright future.

They are patient with me when I make mistakes.

They listen to me, even when I call three times a day. 

I used to think that any time they scolded me or told me that I was doing something wrong it was because they were being hard or judgmental or just annoying. But now, I realize that anytime they tell me something it's because they want to help me be my best self. They truly want what's best for me. And I know that I will still make a lot of mistakes in my life, and I know that we won't always agree in the way to do things. But knowing that they will be there for me in one way or another helps me to know that things will be ok. 

I love when my parents write me letters. They have written me letters for as long as I remember. From the poem my daddy wrote to me when I was baptized, to the note my mom wrote in the last package she sent, those notes and words of love and wisdom have carried me through the hard times.

My mom is cool. Sometimes, she calls me Ma Petite. And I like it. She makes the best food ever. And I love that sometimes I don't have to say anything and she knows how I feel. 

My dad is cool. He's the funniest person ever. His dreams for me are bigger than my dreams for myself. He has so much confidence in me.

My parent's lessons and example have made me the person I am today. I am grateful that because of them, I can stand on my own and know that someone will always be there to catch me if I fall.

My parents are just the best. That's all. 

Girl Talk

Today's post is inspired by recent events. My roommates and I got to talking about things that some of our friends who are girls have done to us, which make them kind of not worthy of the title "friend." So this is a post about Girl Code. Those unwritten rules that will make a friendship between girls be treasured and enjoyed.

1. Be a good friend, even when it's not convenient for you.

If you're friends with someone, don't just call them when you need something. Take time to build the relationship.  Remember Oprah Winfrey's wise words:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

I think that's the true meaning of friendship. 

2. If your girlfriend tells you that she likes a guy and introduces you to him, DO NOT FLIRT WITH HIM. She already called dibs and it is your duty as a friend to make the guy see how incredibly amazing your girlfriend really is. If they don't end up together, at least it wasn't your fault. 

It's not ok to flirt/spend an excessive amount of time with your girlfriend's guy/boyfriend/ and especially, husband! If she tells you she likes him, he's off limits. If they're married, he's definitely off limits. Don't give him pet names. Be a friend! 

Now an etiquette rule:

3. If he broke up with you, he is freeeeee. It doesn't matter if it was yesterday, (ok, give yourself at least a week of mourning period.. sometimes, it's ok if it turns into a month) if he broke up with you or you broke up with him, the relationship is over. He was part of your life. Emphasis on the WAS. Move on, girl. Did you not hear Destiny's Child when you were little?

I'm wishin' you the best 

Pray that you are blessed 

Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness 

I'm not goin' blast you on the radio 

I'm not goin' lie on you and your family 

I'm not goin' hate on you in the magazines 

I'm not goin' compromise my Christianity 

You know I'm not goin' diss you on the internet 

'Cause my mama taught me better than that 

 Yeah, some guys can be heartless, but then again, so can a lot of girls. Some break ups can take longer to get over than others. But we all deal with heartbreak in a different way.  Take time to take care of yourself. Know that other girls will like him and date him. It's okkkk. It sucks a little at first, but it will be ok. 

4. If you have to borrow money, pay back in a timely fashion. Being friends doesn't give you unlimited access to their wallet. And even if they say it's ok, make sure that you tell them you will pay them back. And keep your promise. 

Debts under $10 are ok to pay within the week or even two weeks. Any more than that, and you have to realize that your friend spend a considerable amount (come on, we're in college here, $5 bucks can make a difference) on you and you should pay her back ASAP. Within a couple of days if possible.

 At the same time, help your girlfriend out. If she forgot her wallet, it's ok to pay for her now and then. 

5. Be nice. We can all drive each other crazy sometimes, but, as my mom said, we were put on this earth to learn from each other and try to perfect ourselves. We know we're not perfect. We know we'll have our weak moments, and our angry moments, and our teary moments together. But it's always easier to go through these moments when we know we have a friend by our side. 

Let's build each other up, instead of tearing one another down, yeah? We'll be so much happier because of it.